I can't watch pbs sober anymore
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
