4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
