She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
