Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
