But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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