She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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