going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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