I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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