there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
