...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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