lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
