Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
