I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
