how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
