guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
