So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
