you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
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Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
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Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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