I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
