4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
someone get that fucking seahorse.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
