DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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