I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
