you win again, gameday.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
