I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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