Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
