Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
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Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
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If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised