It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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