haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
