Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
