Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
