i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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