So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
