I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
