You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
