think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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