I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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