her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
