Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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