just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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