He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
