walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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