I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
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This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize