Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
