i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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