Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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