roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I need to stop coming to work sober
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
