i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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