Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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