she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
