We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
