9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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