ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
