Can i not drive my cunt home
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
