Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
