What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
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apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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