At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
