Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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