I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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