next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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