Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
