Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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