i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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