You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
